


Too Much

by serenesavagery (windrunnerdreamer)



Series: Adolin Speardancer and Kaladin Kholin [15]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Bad Jokes, Cute, F/M, First Crush, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23459119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windrunnerdreamer/pseuds/serenesavagery
Summary: The secret to winning a certain general's son's heart, Shallan would tell you, was to poke fun at the Alethi lighteyes and horses.It was as easy as that.
Relationships: Shallan Davar/Kaladin
Series: Adolin Speardancer and Kaladin Kholin [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1527470
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	Too Much

The food was utterly delicious in a way that was sickening, because it only reminded him that people were fattening themselves while good men paid with their lives. 

_No use thinking about that now_ , Kaladin thought to himself, eyeing the woman sitting opposite him. 

Jasnah's ward. 

Shallan Davar. 

She was clearly terribly nervous but he had to hand it off to her, she was concealing it well. 

“My lady, is the food...not to your liking?” Kaladin found himself asking, after clearing his throat. 

Shallan looked up so quickly Kaladin was half afraid she was going to get whiplash. 

“What, um, no! I haven’t had eaten anything this good, honestly. Thank you for taking me here.” Shallan said, smiling. 

“Ah. Well, I don’t frequent restaurants. My brother was the one who recommended this place.” Kaladin said, smiling back so as to put her at ease. 

Shallan tilted her head. “Well, where would you like to eat, given the choice?” 

Kaladin blinked, before smiling wider. Not many people asked him what he would want to do. “Well, in my rooms. But I'm guessing that’s way too much of a breach in the propriety. Well, Alethi propriety, anyway.” 

Shallan chuckled wryly. “True. Not that I mean any offense.” 

Kaladin waved a hand. “I may not look it, but I'm only half Alethi. I like making passes at the Alethi as much as the next foreigner does, so please. Feel free to talk.” 

Shallan blinked, clearly not having expected that. 

“Oh. Well...I always did think that the Alethi were too quiet at their own feasts, to be very honest.” 

Kaladin nodded. “That’s true. But I like the quiet. I don’t like the music, though.” 

Shallan looked interested. Which was amazing, considering they were not even talking about anything interesting. “Really?” 

“Nope. I always did like the Riran lullabies my mother sang to me. I think Alethi music is too pretentious, to be honest.” 

Shallan chuckled nervously. “There are some who would say that the Alethi themselves are too pretentious.” 

Kaladin snorted before biting on a piece of his bread. “Not just some. The whole world thinks that anyway.” 

“Well, in that case, aren’t the Alethi like horses?” 

Kaladin raised an eyebrow. This conversation was getting interesting already despite his earlier thought. “Is that so?” 

Shallan nodded before biting on her lip. “Well, they both happen to be unfairly tall, rather stupid about their appearance and generally majestic when the moment doesn’t call for it at all.” 

Kaladin blinked before snorting and eventually chuckling, and before the chuckling eventually gave way to laughter. 

It was not a very good joke, to be fair, but Kaladin hadn’t heard a joke from a person that wasn’t Renarin or the captain, and the joke also served to be true. 

“S-Storms! That's,” Kaladin shook his head, grinning as he pointed his fork at her. “That's _actually_ really true!” 

Shallan grinned back, and the expression warmed him. 

“You know, that was pretty smart. I'll give you full points for that.” Kaladin said, with a grin as he leaned back into his chair. 

Shallan folded her arms before eyeing him playfully and just then, the atmosphere seemed a lot warmer than it had been at the beginning of this. 

“Ah, but you can’t judge me without delivering a joke yourself, now, can you? Highly unfair.” 

Kaladin smirked. “You’re on. Fine, ever met anyone of Sebarial's relatives?” 

Shallan blinked. “Can’t say I had the pleasure.” 

Kaladin cocked his head, folding his arms. “Why don’t you check out the pig herd? All of his relatives are in there. Plus,” he dropped his voice to a mocking whisper. “You'll find some of his lovers there.” 

Shallan blinked before grinning. “Fine. That _was_ a good one. Wow. You’re...funnier than I expected.” 

Kaladin smiled. “That’s a compliment if I ever heard one. You’re not as bad as I feared.” 

Shallan widened her eyes. “Wait, what?” 

Kaladin chuckled. “Wow, I'm sorry, that came out wrong. No, it’s just,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. 

“I don’t know what you've heard, but I'm not...great at relationships nor do I have much experience. In fact, I've courted twice and all of them, uh, ended in me getting slapped. So yes, I was pretty apprehensive about the proposal of this betrothal.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Shallan leaned in, whispering just as he did. “Tell you what, this is actually my first real courtship. I'm not that great at relationships either.” She said grinning as she leaned back. 

Kaladin blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that-

Shallan was...very good looking. And so outgoing, too. 

“Wait, what, really?” 

Shallan nodded before narrowing her eyes in question. “Why, what were you expecting?” 

Kaladin shrugged a shoulder, scrambling for an answer that wouldn’t make him look stupid. “I was expecting someone who knew how relationships worked. You seem at ease with this. Well, a lot more at ease than I am.” 

Shallan giggled into her safehand, looking incredulous. 

“What?” Kaladin asked, afraid he'd stepped on a landmine. 

Giggling never meant anything good. 

“Funny thing is, I was thinking the same thing about _you_.” She said, her eyes dancing. 

Kaladin snorted in disbelief, shaking his head. “You have got to be kidding me.” 

Shallan shook her head, meeting his eyes. “Absolutely not. The first time we met, you...you seemed so in control of yourself and so full of the proper courtesies.” She said, before chuckling nervously. 

Kaladin stared at her. “Oh. Wow.” 

Now he got why she was so nervous. 

“Well, I can assure you, I'm not like that, what you just described for the whole day.” Kaladin said, coughing into one hand. 

Shallan smiled. “I wouldn’t mind knowing more about the guy who wasn’t like what I described.” 

Kaladin shrugged a shoulder. “Well, I'm afraid that guy is kind of boring, to be honest.” 

Shallan waved a hand. “I'm boring too. I like sketching nature. Pretty sure that can’t be more boring than what you want to do.” 

Kaladin blinked before shaking his head. “Sketching nature isn’t boring as confusing.” 

Shallan opened her mouth before nodding wisely. “You’re right, it does get confusing sometimes. But like I said, not as boring as what you'd do in your free time.” 

“I just go through a random motion of spear holding stances.” Kaladin said dryly. 

He did like doing the katas, yes, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn’t monotonous. 

The monotonous nature of the katas was comforting though. 

He shook his head and looked at her, gauging her. 

Shallan chuckled. “Well, at least you'd get the _point_ when doing it.” 

Kaladin stared at her. 

Shallan grinned at him. 

“You did _not_ just say that.” 

Shallan looked like she was trying hard not to laugh at the expression on his face. 

“Please tell me you did _not_ just say that.” Kaladin said, his voice shaking with disbelieving mirth. 

“Well, it’s not like I admitted I was jealous of your hair!” Shallan burst out, laughing. 

Kaladin stared before fingering his own hair uncertainly. 

Shallan didn’t stop laughing, and this made the other occupants of the restaurant stare at her. 

“Wait, what about my hair?” 

“It’s _gorgeous_! Seriously, how do you not get it cut off during battle?” Shallan asked, stopping her laughter to look at him with no small of admiration. 

“Did you forget the part where I wear a heavy helmet?” Kaladin asked, dryly, despite the heat in his face. 

Shallan nodded wisely. “Ah. Then I have to ask, how is it _this_ unbelievably gorgeous? I mean, I need a _lot_ of hair conditioning products to stop _this_ ,” she took out a strand of her hair to show him. “From bursting apart like springs!” 

Kaladin shook his head, eyes wide. “Storms, you’re a very strange woman.” 

Shallan brushed off an imaginary speck of dust on her shoulder. “It's our air of feminine mystique.” She said, making her eyes look as if they were far away. 

“I've met my fair share of women, and none of them were as strange as you.” 

“Should I take that as a compliment?” 

Kaladin pondered on the question, before smirking slightly. “Well, I haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing a mixture of enthusiasm and bewilderment at something so strange. So, yes.” 

Shallan grinned. “Yay for originality!"

Kaladin chuckled. "Yay for originality indeed."

"And has anyone asked you about your hair?” 

"No. But I'm almost afraid to ask, but what’s the other question?” 

Shallan now blushed. “Uh, I don’t think you'll like this one.” 

Kaladin shook his head. “I don't take offense very easily, contrary to the popular opinion. Go ahead.” He said, waving a hand. 

Shallan grinned sheepishly. “Well, I've always wondered....how do men in Shardplates....poop?” 

Kaladin stared. 

Just when he thought this conversation couldn’t get any more storming bizarre. 

“Why... _why_ would you want to know that?” Kaladin asked, voice faint. 

Shallan giggled nervously. “Well- I mean, the topic of war has been covered quite extensively. But I don’t think they mention the you know, the gritty details, the struggles men go through? You know what I mean?” 

Kaladin bit on his lip before nodding. 

He had to admit- she had a good point there. 

“Wait, you agree with me?” 

Kaladin nodded again. “That kind of makes sense. But it’s still a question that doesn’t get asked, oh, I don’t know, at all? We certainly don’t ask how women comb their hair with one hand. Or do anything with one hand, for that matter.” He said, eyeing her freehand warily. 

“Well. If I answer that one, will you answer my question?” 

“Sure. I mean, it’s not like I've ever...shat in my own Shardplate before.” 

Kelek take him, the woman actually looked _disappointed_. “You never have?” 

“No.” 

“Not even once?” Shallan asked, eyes wide. 

Kaladin raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. 

“Whoa. You really are the perfect soldier, huh.” Shallan said, now looking a mixture of admiring and incredulous. 

Kaladin made a face, wondering if he was blushing. He coughed. “Uh, no. I wouldn’t call myself that.” 

“And here I thought the perfect soldier was a legend.” 

“Well, I don’t think the perfect soldier breaks other soldiers' noses now, does he?” Kaladin found himself blurting before widening his eyes. 

Shallan blinked. “Wait-" 

“I thought we were talking about how women did things with one hand?” 

“No, we're talking about how you break noses."

Kaladin sighed, running a gloved hand through his hair. “Well, I only did it on the training grounds. And that was because the soldiers were being annoying.” He said, not facing her. 

Shallan smiled. “It’s nice to know that you’re not as perfect as all that.” 

“I'm not perfect, and I'd like to stab anyone who does say it.” Kaladin mumbled, glaring a hole into the tablecloth. 

“Well, I could help you by drawing a sketch on their face perhaps?” 

Kaladin let out an amused breath, the idea itself entertaining. 

“I can see you like it very much. And also, I'll tell you a secret- I've never cleaned up myself one handed.” 

That made Kaladin look at her. “Wait, seriously?” 

He then blinked, before staring at Shallan, who grinned. 

"Storming woman." Kaladin breathed out, blushing furiously. 

Shallan grinned wider. "Well, we had a fair exchange of embarrassing secrets, didn't we?"

Kaladin bit on his lip, shaking his head with a slight smile. 

“Ah. Fair exchange. A mythical thing indeed.” He said contemplatively, rubbing his chin. 

“True. It is in fact, rumored only to be in the Tranquiline Halls.” 

“Probably because it such a... _hall_ owed act.” 

Shallan stared at him. “And you accuse me of making bad jokes.” 

Kaladin chuckled again. “Well, you are rather infectious. So I'd say it is entirely your fault.” 

“Gasp! Preposterous!” 

Kaladin smiled and for once, he didn’t find himself self conscious at the stares people were giving him. 

It was almost impossible to. 

And...there was something about her, somehow, he thought as he watched her laugh. 

Something that refused to disallow him from brightening. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well! This was a ride if it ever was, and I don't think I've gotten their dynamic properly??? Thoughts, people! Thoughts, thoughts- spare some comments for the poor, lmao?


End file.
